UNSAID

April 17th, 2018 Posted In: Creative Corner

Team TNV

VINODKUMAR  SHARMA

 

Ferry Boats @ Panjim.

It was the normal day, as usual. Streets were flooded with office goers, students ( both school & college ), and everyone to their respective works, including me. A busy person with uncertain future & definite present. I have no idea about what will happen to me next moment because I had to reach my college in 20 minutes + 10 min. (Grace time).

I was crossing  the road while earphones plugged into my ears listening to Arijit Singh from Aashiqui 2 movie which had released 3 months back from now. That song had made everyone go mad with his voice and suddenly it started raining. I hurried towards the ferry boat to board in. I was running towards the ferry boat when I  suddenly slipped and bumped to a Girl, which was standing there. I looked up at her and something struck me.

I never had saw such beautiful eyes before. I kept staring at her for sometime without noticing that I was in the ferryboat of crowded people. And was about to touch the ground she held my hand & brought me closer to her.

“Are you okay” .?? She asked.

Later she loosened her grip on my hand & I stood still, didn’t listened to what she was telling due to my numbness. I didn’t know what to do or at least say, I’m fine, to her.

It was all crowded and I could not  utter a word.

Ferry fared into the river to another end. And me wondering about the scene in my mind.

 

Same day @ Night.

I replayed the scene which had happened in the morning with me at the ferry boat jetty in my mind. That in my numbness I didn’t even notice it to say thanks to her, for holding my hand from falling down.

How could I thank her that time.?

Because it was so quick that I had no time to react. So I decided to thank her very next day.

I was very happy to meet her tomorrow, and when to sleep, keeping smile on my face. (Blushing). Heheheh..

 

Next day.

I was at the same spot where we had met yesterday by accidentally. I didn’t see her there so, I waited for her patiently. Ferryboat  had arrived and all the people were boarding into it. My eyes were searching for her as I was the last one to board into it. Ferry started to move on to its way to the other end. I was disappointed for the reason which was unknown to me.

Why do I care about some stranger.??? Why?? I said it to myself.

As days passed my impatience started to grow & my hopes were dying. All the time negative thoughts were coming to my mind, that what if it was the last time I saw her.?? But my heart was opposing for it.

Finally one fine day, I saw her at same place where we had met accidentally. Ahhh!!  She was looking beautiful & elegant in that dress. I hurriedly crossed the road towards the ferry boat jetty side where she was waiting for the ferry boat to come from the other side which was faring the passengers in it. I stood next to her. And  numbness struck me again. I couldn’t even say “ Hi” to her. It took me some couple of minutes to gather some courage to talk to her.

“Thanks for that day.” Finally I said

She nodded her head with the smile.

There was silence between us for a while. But me, I was glancing her from top to toe every second. When our eyes met, I turned my head other side and I was about to say something to her, then ferry boat arrived & we boarded into it and sat in opposite directions. Just keeping smile on the faces.

So days passed with our routines Hi & Byes.

However my feelings had grew very stronger for her, I was so attached with her presence that I wanted this moment to freeze it for a while.

Sometimes I used to pray that I will meet her every day at jetty but it was not like that every time. I used to feel very miserable and missing her sometimes. Nothing was right without her. It was like her beauty was tempting me towards her more & more. I didn’t understand the feeling for her. But, it was the strange feeling because the would made my day just to have her one glimpse.

 

@ College.

Shubh (Subhash) my best friend, caught me one day thinking about her  in one of the lecture in class.

Vivaan what are you thinking about and smiling?? Come on, tell me. He asked.

I nodded & said, nothing.

But he was not escaping without knowing the real truth.

Where are you lost, hmmm. Is it someone special you are thinking about.

I was surprised when he said that, hmmm nothing, just waiting for weekend.

I said avoiding him probing into the matter. But he was my bestie, so it didn’t stop him there, so again he inquired about it to me.

Then I really couldn’t keep it long from him. And revealed everything which had happened with me, on that day with the girl coincidentally. I had narrated him the whole story about it. And he was listening it very carefully & smiling every time.

OMG. You have a Crush on her.

He repeated again and again.

But I denied him of such feelings. He continued and later I had to accept the feeling called “CRUSH.”

Teacher had arrived in class and then we continue with our classes.

 

@ Home.

As the night came, I was wondering about what Shubh had told me in the class at morning. He was right, I had a crush on her. And in the background in my TV on MTV channel, the song of Arijit Singh’s was playing on….

KYUNKI TUM HI HO,

AB TUM HI HO…

MERI ZINDAGI AB TUM HI HO..!!

That song was exactly suiting me for the that moment. It was like the song was describing my current situation.

Next day, I decided to wear something good enough to notice her, I mean to impress her. I dressed my best outfit in Black shirt, denims jeans, spike hair, perfumed, etc.. finger crossed for hoping that she would be impressed with me.

I had arrived at the ferry boat jetty, a little earlier than my usual time. She came a bit later and smiled at me. I was

delighted by her smile & gesture towards me. I was like at least she smiled at me. The bonanza was double when, “you are looking handsome today.” She said.

Hearing this, I was on cloud nine.

Thanks. I replied.

Then I heard the ringing sound, it was my alarm clock, so well this was the dream, I was actually in, on my bed. However it was just dream but had kept a smile on my face, early morning.

So I dressed up well. But unfortunately that day it was raining and was a bit windy too. Everything works against me, so I decided to meet her in next couple of days.

I promised myself that I will impress her by being me, just me.

I met her with my strong mission and vision, that I’ll make her my friend first then proposed her. Simple & clear.

But the things look simple but they are not.  because every time when I think about talking to her I end up with no words at last I spoke to her a friendly chat at the Jetty. I got to know her name Sanjh she was a college girl from a different College and love to dance was just her passion. We became quite good friends by the end. Then numbness in my head reduced but the feeling had increased for her.

Shubh ask me “How far have your relationship reached.”

I haven’t told her yet we are just friend when time will be right I will propose her. I said in reply.

what.?? Shubh yelled at me.

You haven’t told her yet it’s almost 3 months you are meeting her so what time you are waiting for you know her and she knows you now. So tell her “don’t wait.” he said.

How can a guy can propose a girl like that, I mean what she will think, I am an a playboy. I said.

Dumb head, this is the 21st century generation you are living in, don’t wait just say it. When. Such opportunities arise just grab it. Shubh confronted me confidently.

It took me a lot of time to decide my feelings like, how, when and where.

It was the beautiful sunny day, rain had stopped and it was the best nature’s view. I was late to catch the ferry boat. She had reached there as usual on her time. And besides her one guy was standing and were talking. I was relaxed and took deep breath and finally reached to her. She was looking beautiful and gorgeous as usual and a bit cheerful. She greeted me saying, “ Hi, Vivaan.” and started the casual chat.

I recalled about, what Shubh had told me, “don’t wait.”

“Sanjh” I said and suddenly she interrupted me and said.

I know what you want to tell me.

I was overjoyed by knowing that she too knows, what I want to tell her.

She caught hold of that guy besides her, and said Rahul this is Vivaan. And Vivaan this is Rahul my boyfriend.

I was shocked and horrified with that… what?? Boyfriend?? I said to myself.

I was dejected at the same time.

Oh great!! I said to her.

I wanted to burst out and say “we are never getting to be together.” I controlled myself, my whole world came crashing down. I wanted to hit myself. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh on my situation.

It took me some couples of months to overcome all this. I cried some time.

Later I understood, I couldn’t change it, because she liked him and he liked her.

As we can’t force anyone to like ourselves when they are liking someone else. Now we are best of buddies, we hang around, have fun some time. Best part of our friendship is that she knows, “what I used to feel for her and we laugh on it.” I am over her now and have found my new thing of affection,  “WRITING.”

Until I find my true love, she’ll be my dream girl. Guess this is called moving on and having fun..

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Team TNV

The author is a senior Journalist working in Goa for last one and half decade with the experience of covering wide-scale issues ranging from entertainment to politics and defense.

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